Most sources, including https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/17904-reactive-attachment-disorder, estimate 1-2% of children could meet the diagnostic criteria for RAD. While it is more common for children in foster care, it remains a rare condition.

In our journey as foster parents, we have provided care for roughly a dozen children. Of those, three met the diagnostic criteria for RAD.

In our experience, approximately 25% of the children we care for in the foster care system meet the criteria for RAD.

What does the rare nature of RAD look like for me?

I am attending an IEP meeting that I specifically requested. I followed the standards I found online, which state that I must request an evaluation in writing for my son to be tested for an IEP.

In addition to the school’s testing, I underwent my own psychological evaluation. I consulted with a recommended testing center for further insight and recommendations.

The PhD level Clinical Psychologist report states my son has Reactive Attachment Disorder, Attention Hyperactivity Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, PTSD and Conduct Disorder NOS. It recommends that my son have an IEP to assist in his learning needs.

The Clinical Psychologist report points out monitoring personal safety is crucial for children with RAD.

I have gathered a group of professionals from the local mental health center, including therapists, case managers, and supervisors. Together, we agree that my son would benefit from having an IEP to allow for accommodations to ensure success and safety at school.

We have all received the emails from teachers expressing concern about my son’s tendency to elope during times of dysregulation in the classroom.

There are records of him running away from class or even leaving the school building during school hours.

The school team has been analyzing their test results, and they’ve concluded that my son’s performance in reading and math is average. They’ve also mentioned that he doesn’t require an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). According to them, he is doing exceptionally well in school. The teacher who previously sent me distressed emails has assured me that the school will provide suggestions and keep trying new methods to assist my son. I don’t have to worry since they’ve confirmed that he doesn’t need an IEP.

I feel my face heating up and tears beginning to fall. I want my son to receive the support he needs to be successful. Most importantly, I want him to be able to have the same experiences as other children. It feels so unfair that he isn’t being provided with the necessary support to achieve his potential.

I feel helpless and unheard. The tears continue to fall as I try and express that what they are saying doesn’t make sense. How can he not qualify for an IEP? Can’t they see how he struggles to control himself, that he could get hurt or hurt someone else? Why do we have to wait for something terrible to happen, again, to increase supervision?

The decision of who qualifies for an IEP is made by the school, not the parent. They believe they can manage my son without any accommodations. Further argument only serves to undermine my faith in the educators and make me appear like a difficult parent.

There are about 500 students in my child’s school, and approximately 5 of them meet the criteria for RAD. This condition is quite rare, and the school staff doesn’t seem to know much about it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to convince them to provide the necessary support for my child, and I ended up feeling defeated and invalidated. As I left the room, tears streaming down my face, I couldn’t help but feel like I had failed to advocate for my child’s needs.